


boats & birds

by angelsprunch



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 08:52:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsprunch/pseuds/angelsprunch
Summary: stan thinks bill is the brightest star in the sky. bill thinks stan is as vast and beautiful as the sea.





	boats & birds

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as a secret santa gift !! let me know what you think

Both boys believed that they existed solely to bring out the other boy’s best traits. Bill thought that Stan was the smartest boy he knew. Stan was so pretty and he always did his homework on time. Everything about him so so clean and organized. Bill believed that Stan had his life in control more than the others. Every day Stan was on time to school and he had everything he needed. He was never dragging his feet like Bill, he was on time unlike Richie. He didn’t get overwhelmed by extracurriculars or the social scene like Mike and Eddie. He seemed to fly under the radar for the most part and avoid people, unlike Ben and Beverly. Little did Bill know that Stan had to get up three hours before he left for school in order to complete his routine. One day, Stan didn’t get to go through all the motions of his routine that he had a panic attack so bad he couldn’t make it all the way to the school. That day he pretended to be sick so he could stay home. He had nightmares every night about what happened in the sewers and it was even harder now that the others seemed to have forgotten what happened in that summer. He struggled every day and the only way he managed to try to keep it together was by sticking to his routines.

 

Stan believed that Bill was the bravest boy he’d ever met. Bill led them all into the sewers and he seemed to have handled the gruesome loss of his younger brother. Bill was the glue that held them all together and even when he was struggling, Bill managed to put his own issues aside to lead the rest of the losers. When Beverly or Richie were having issues, they went to Bill first. It made Stan more jealous than he’d ever admit, especially with the way Bill watched Beverly. If Eddie was being picked on by Henry and getting called names, Bill was the one that said something first. Bill was the one that invited Mike and Ben into their group. It was Bill that started all of this and it was Bill that made sure they finished. Stan didn’t know that every night, Bill cried over the loss of his brother. His house was more quiet than ever and the silence was the most painful thing. Bill understood Richie when he said he felt invisible to his parents because Bill felt the exact same way.

 

Stan thought that he was going to be Bill’s best friend forever. He wanted to help Bill shine a litle brighter every day. It wasn’t always easy because sometimes it seemed that if Bill shined any brighter, he would blind everyone around him. Still, Stan would hold Bill’s hand when he seemed unsure and when it was just the two of them, he would whisper gentle words of encouragement because even the best of people have to have some hard times. The only way Stan could rationalize someone like Bill wanting to be with someone like him was to believe that maybe behind closed doors, Bill wasn’t as perfect as he wanted to be. He also worked hard to keep all of his issues a secret from Bill. Stan firmly believed that if any of the losers found out about how much he struggled, they would leave him. The one that would devastate him the most would be the loss of Bill, though. Not that Stan thought he could handle losing any of the losers.

 

While Stan felt this way, Bill believed that he met Stan purely to set him free. This boy seemed to always have his head in the clouds with how he talked about escaping this town and how jealous he seemed of birds and their wings. They could fly away at any time and nothing seemed to bother them. Bill wanted to help Stan escape one day. He lived to make him free. Bill didn’t have half an idea of what Stan went through, but he tried as hard as he could to stay close to his best friend. He’d stand close by to make sure that no one brushed up against Stan without his consent. Stan hated to be touched by strangers so he tried to walk the least crowded routes, but when that wasn’t an option Bill would stay beside him. He made sure to always sit close to Stan so that he could watch the way he organised things. When they exchanged gifts, Bill would always make sure that everything was color coded and organized by height. The wrapping paper would always be pristine. If Stan stayed the night, Bill would stay up as late as he could to help Stan make it through his routines and he’d wait patiently while he triple checked things. He’d even sit on his bed and watch as Stan cleaned Bill’s room to his standards and he wouldn’t be offended. 

 

One day, Bill was sitting on his bed and Stan was organizing a stack of artwork on Bill’s desk. It was Georgie’s birthday and while Stan had connected the dots, he had chosen to not comment. Bill was particularly quiet while he sat on the bed except for the occasional sniffle. It broke Stan’s heart to know that his friend struggled like this, but he wasn’t sure how he could help. He wanted to be there in any way that he could, but Stan had no idea what to do. Sure, Stan struggled, but he had never lost someone like this. After he finished organising the drawings, Stan pulled one out that resembled Georgie and sat beside his friend. 

 

“When did you do this one?”

 

“Th-this morning.”

 

“I think he’d like it.”

 

“He’ll nev-ver see it.”

 

“Maybe not. That doesn’t change that he’d like it.”

 

“It d-doesn’t matter if he’d l-like it. He’s go-gone.”

 

“Have you ever heard the saying that people die twice? Once when their heart stops beating and another time when their name is said for the last time?”

 

“No.”

 

“Think about it. Never stop talking about Georgie. Never stop drawing him. Keep him alive through your words and through your art. Don’t ever let him die that second death. If you do that, he’ll always be right here to appreciate all of your work.”

 

“Do you believe that?”

 

“It doesn’t matter what I believe. This is about you.”

 

“I want to know if you believe it. I care about what you believe.”

 

“I think it’s a nice thought.”

 

Stan fell silent as he looped his arm around Bill’s shoulders. Bill relaxed in his arms and sighed softly. He was close to falling apart, but he didn’t want Stan to see him cry. Bill had to remain strong for his friends. If he fell apart, then what did they have left? He drew in a shaky breath and rested his head on Stan’s shoulder.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with crying over this, Bill. You’re the bravest person I know. You’re always so strong for all of us. Have you ever cried over this? You don’t always have to look strong for us. You can let your walls down around me. I promise it’s safe.”

 

“I cr-cried at his funeral.”

 

“You can cry now, Bill.”

 

“I d-don’t--- I--” Bill cut himself off and bit his lip hard. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, but the last thing he wanted was to fall apart in front of the boy he admired most. Bill turned his head to hide his face in Stan’s chest. Stan could feel his shirt get warm with tears and as much as he wanted to be upset at how this would affect his appearance, he couldn’t be mad. This was Bill and Stan would gladly walk through those disgusting sewers again for him. He would do anything for this boy. Stan wrapped his arms around Bill’s frame and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

 

“It’s okay… You’re okay…” he mumbled, whispering it into Bill’s hair. Bill’s body shook with sobs and Stan wondered how long he had been holding this in. “You’re the strongest, bravest person I know.” he said, tightening his arms around Bill.

 

“I’ve got nothing o-on you, St-stan.”


End file.
